Kris Dickless

There stands a seemingly abandoned warehouse somewhere in the outskirts of Fredericksburg, Virginia. Unbeknownst to the many residents of this small northern Virginia town, this warehouse houses the secret laboratory of a crazed scientist obsessed with the 1980s. He began work on combining the DNA of many of the era’s icons to create the ultimate Rock & Roll superstar… and Experiment #57, now named Kris Dickless, somehow survived and was able to slither out of the failed clone bin. Because he didn’t wander out of his hometown, and the fact he decided play bass, hunting him down wasn’t the highest of priorities. He somehow ended up in the same band as Julius and Jake, but that story has been beaten more than the dead horse used as an incubator in the secret lab that he originated from. There are numerous stories about the origin of his name, but none are confirmed yet. The most popular one involves Vietnamese beach crabs and a very unfortunate vacation.

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